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through the swell of love's sadness, shines a heart drenched, thank you.
for the unexpected magic of you
like a dream I never knew I had,
come true
for every moment, big and small
that I felt I belonged, in your presence,
that's all
that it's about, someone like me,
in the end
like a valentine, childlike mind,
drenched in hearts, to the sky, I send
to you, you fucking beautiful soul
the hours spent, talking,
revealing, all the more
that as different as we are,
we are, uncommonly, the same
I felt your fire, I soaked in your pain
because that's what souls
who connect, can do
every thought you uttered
somehow, reached right through
all my walls and all my fears
raised me to rapture,
reduced me to tears
that just when I believed,
no more beauty, could be found
you appeared, out of nowhere
lifted the clouds, there, I found
all my wrongs and all my rights,
a reason for all those sleepless nights
anxiety shaken, true living, forsaken
somehow, something in you,
so inspired me, awakened
my want and hope and heart,
to give,
as if your energy, radioactive
pulling me closer, and further apart
at the seams, like a mystic, "your mark", your art
of resonating truth,
not in just what you say,
but what you do
being so kind, as if born
not of this place or of this time
forgive me, for the times
it confused and rattled my mind
brought out things
that might've scared you away
It's just my heart, so full, your song
so I felt compelled, "please stay"
the feeling like I, just want you around
all the time, it's crazy,
"not the norm",
this drown
in the wonder, and mystery
and so strangely affecting,
that's you
like I'd give anything,
for you to feel and believe me
it's true
not just words
and not just lies
those immeasurably haunting,
sweet, fucking "gorgeous glow" eyes
and all your moods
and all your masks
all the times
you took my bullshit
to task
as I did you,
and we worked through,
two trainwrecks just trying
to find our place in the sun,
"shine through"...
all the mundane
and the attempts, etched, "in vain"
all the days, that seemed, "kill me"
"the same old, same old", the same
but no day, ever
with you, was a bore,
and no love I gave,
ever felt like a chore
it felt like, I, the luckiest guy,
In the world,
to witness you before me,
no one else, in this world
at all, like you
you mean so god damned much,
but really its "blessed",
that's why, filled, deep sadness, I'm touched
that you're not here,
and I'm not there
and together we're not
getting or going anywhere
as, that's what I believe,
I see it, shining, in you
you're the kind, call it "fonzie like", "cool"
just to do anything and nothing
like we were kids in grade school
so, no matter if you get it,
or feel the same, understand
I just need to thank you,
stand up, be a man
not caught up in whether
you will stick around, our endeavor
that's just what, my heart wants,
of course,
how could it not,
let there be no regrets, or remorse
I've said it all, and I'll say it again
I love you, god damn it,
be me a freak, or a friend
be me whatever it is,
and all apologies,
my "overwhelm"
it's not meant to harm,
or invade, your space, charmed
it's just that you matter
so much,
I'm disarmed
so carry that with you,
and I hope, like heaven,
you return
but if not,
I thank you,
for all you gave, in soul kind,
I learned
yes, there still, is a heaven on earth
I felt it, pulsate, flow through me
standing next to you, worth
more than anything,
more, than "priceless", can convey
this sadness just means
written, in my heart, is your name,
and, yes, fucked forever,
here and now,
you,
will somehow always remain
bowen hart roselli
30 march 2020
ringwald love