every avenue explored
every leaf, overturned
the urge, the instinct
find me a patch of dirt
under the safety, sanctuary
towering trees
and break my will,
to these bruised bones
thoroughly
devoured, disintegrate
into the soil
will i finally then be visible,
once invisible?

and let me face every horrid truth
the selfishness of others
under all the smiles, "nice words"
all the words, that's just what they are
empty of action,
devoid any real lasting,
encapsulating passion

of skin and limb
to heart and mind
so few of us left here
the "put you before me",
"soulfully sensitive kind"...

and let me own every misfire
every "my fault", how I'm wired
to believe in things now fallen away
inner character means little
than less here, best to learn quickly
this "out for self only" game

and let me go then, smiling
last breath, cracked skin, lips
as i told you, i never belonged here
it was the truth as I've been shown
over thinking, over dreaming
over feeling, the meaning

the value, importance of love
tenderness, tumultuous
the divine attempt, work involved,
it's profound, yet preyed upon significance

yet i loved with all my being, my heart
i guess, "the fool" i claimed it, my part
to play here, scenarios, scenes
inside this film, haunted brain

once devoured by the earth
i will have the final freedom
to fly and flourish
wings of remembrance
my blindness,
the power of your beautiful
upon me,
some star it will shine, see
me as home, worthy of the covet
and lifelong quest, for release
within the honorable hurt,
bleed, no more "brutalize"
amongst it's "yes", want of me,

realized, then so claimed.


bowen hart roselli
11 november 2020
ringwald love