wish i could've joined the military
but back in my day,
they wouldn't let in
"the limp wristed", like me

wish i could've,
'cuz now more than ever
that level of discipline, taught, i respect
land of inconsistent insanity
is the only consistent, one can expect

all this bullshit,
"no expectations"
especially when it comes
to human relations

i expect a lot,
cuz i expect a lot from myself
and my expectations of others,
minimal, real wealth..

just mean what you say
and say what you mean
if not, please,
just don't say a fucking thing

another "catch phrase",
from where, "dr. phil"?
makes me wanna swallow
a bottle of pills

"no one owes you anything",
i call bullshit, hear me out,
"my thing"...

yes, technically true,
in absolute, absolutely
but what happened to character,
honor?, resolutely..

abandoned, discarded, in a land of "me first"
seems things are now, in permanent reverse
people "at their best", are now at their worst..

real friends,
you think you've made
disappear
"no nothing", no text back
the only clear, is unclear

people pop in and out
of our lives, like it's nothing
a quick text every six months or more
is like sending a bouquet of flowers,
your front door

no real effort, no real care
but "i love you", really?
if even that, quite "the rare"

that we're all too used to,
and using such convenience
of ease, communication
to feed off each other,
"nothing too real", of effort
means, "we mean it"

dating apps, while taking craps
"hey, what's up"
and nothing after that..

yeah, grand scheme,
not that big a deal
but it all adds up to wasted
brains, time, less "feel"
and all of us enslaved and numb
to the "knowing" nothing matters,
but it does

because
what i do and say
affects you
even if you won't admit
it's true
even if you don't care
very much
even if
were not joined at the hip
starsky, hutch

if you allow me, communication
it should mean you value reciprocation

and I'm not saying
it's a must, "instant gratification"
we all have times, shit going on,
realizations..

busy-ness and other priorities
but no reason to cave to the
"selfish bullshit" majority

of don't bother, "get back"
cuz you "don't owe me anything"
a true thought, or true friend,
yes, i do, amongst the many things

that truly don't matter,
like all the phony, garbage chatter
that surrounds us all,
multi-media soaked,
all the wasteful distractions,
that keep us closed off and roped..

into the "new normal"
follow through, real tending to, dead
now all of us, reading between lines
filling in blanks, thinking it's all
in our head...

and often, it is
simplicity, it's as dead as a dish
served up cold and served up sour
"faster, faster, faster",
tick the minutes,
our lives, and hours..

so yes, i owe those closest to me
the ones that stick around, and see
me as valuable,
bring some "matter" to their life
cuz too many out there
bring little, but a knife

to take a piece, a chunk,
then leave
with the ease
of a soft summer breeze

that's not what I'm here to do,
so fuck you,
to all that allow the decay of character,
honor, integrity
to be true

if i say i love you
and you are a true friend
I'm gonna give it my best
stick it out, til the end

doesn't mean I'm perfect
and expect back, exactly same
but it means when you reach out
it means something
and i won't play games

with you, your heart,
your worth, your attention
upon me, it means something
so I'll try my best,
and break with convention

that all around, evidenced
friends, connections
don't mean a lot more
than just above, below shit

and that's not me,
feel free, "crazy", call me
but the only consistency
has to come from me

so in a world of inconsistency
if i let you in,
that dying thing, called a heart
you have my word,
typed, sung, or spoken, the art

consistency, consistently
you will get it, however flawed,
but i will be there, and i owe you that
for loving, caring,
reaching out, remembering me

you'll see...
you saw,
those still around me,
consider me close
no matter my many screwed up flaws

that's just how it goes, when real
that's what i thought, was part of the deal
a deal that's been devoured by technology
and bullshit, the true meaning of "divine"
now, consistency and the natural flow of importance, velocity

that lies at the heart and soul,

reciprocity.


bowen hart roselli
22 july 2020
ringwald love